Motherhood and before- Matrescence

A young mother is on  call with a friend when her little one cries as if all hell broke loose, she abandons the call and rushes to tend to the child. Does it strike a Déjà vu? Well, motherhood is all about selfless  care for children. If you thought so, spend a moment to remember when you wanted a break, a small respite from the constant caring. Have you felt this or are you still feeling this?

Let us accept it, motherhood can be exhausting as well as exciting. Social cues of motherhood imply that it is joyous. Joyous yes, but it is not just joyous. It has its add-ons too.

 Let’s go to the  start of it all. Motherhood starts with “Matrescence” a term used by social sciences. Matrescence is defined as “the process of becoming a mother” and includes the physiological as well psychosocial aspects of it. It’s another phase of life ,like the much talked about adolescence. But unlike adolescence, which is being explained and  researched in detail, matrescence has not had its attention. We know adolescence can’t be easy. The same applies to matrescence. During matrescence, a woman undergoes shifts in her relationships, her attention is now divided between her relationships and the  child, there is a new identity to her along with the pains and pleasures, there are hormonal and body changes as well, all happening simultaneously. This transition phase needs an understanding and acknowledgment by the mother and the world around her. I personally feel matrescence is an opportunity to test our resilience, our positive spirit and even to make us innovative and productive. There is no defined time period for matrescence, and it is individual dependent. There is the social pressure to be the best and worry for the welfare of the child. There is the guilt of feeling selfish even if there is a momentary wanting to seek some personal space. This could lead to stress. Research has proven that such stress and guilt could lead to postpartum depression. If matrescence could be handled well, one can have a happy motherhood.

Past that stage? Even if you are past matrescence, knowing about it will help you help new mothers.

Handling motherhood?  Your motherhood needs its definition, space and identity.

Go ahead, acknowledge your wants, address them judiciously, enjoy that little break. Self-indulge guilt free. Your happiness is the first step towards your well- being and  your well- being means good care for your family. Your happiness means a lot!

I say, do it right away for sometimes you cannot reclaim lost moments, opportunities and even fun!!

Motherhood and before – “MATRESCENCE” – Chitra Malolan (youmoseywithme.blogspot.com)